Adolescence is a stage in which there are many physical and emotional changes. All these changes can turn the transition to adulthood into something hard for many young people and their families, due not only to these changes, but also to the greater social, academic and behavioral demands they encounter around them and to which, in some cases, they are not able to adapt.
On the other hand, the influences of the Internet, celebrities and media oriented to adolescents can influence their behaviors being able to mitigate behaviors that are not very healthy and can even contradict those family and academic demands.
This framework can become a source of emotional disconnection in young people, who are increasingly disconnected from the people around them. In more extreme caseswhen the young man has lived complicated situations in childhood can you talk to each other emotional disconnection syndrome as a way of defending before a sentimental disappointment. A syndrome in which the person is isolated from others preventing showing any emotion or attachment to other people.
- 1 How do parents of emotionally disconnected youth feel?
- 2 What can we do in these cases?
- 3 Tips to support our children when they are disconnected
How do parents of emotionally disconnected youth feel?
Usually parents care a lot about this disconnection. The relationships of trust and love that their children transmitted in childhood become something similar to coldness and detachment and parents often feel confused and frustrated at these behaviors.
The most normal reaction is the excessive concern of these parents who notice how their attempts to enter the inner world of the adolescent to continue being part of their life, can be failed, which generates even greater frustration.
What can we do in these cases?
The young man is growing and therefore needs experience your own experiences getting rid of adults a bit. When we grow up, we need to feel independent, special and adult, even though we are still, in part, even children. This can lead to self-centered behavior that does not contemplate the feelings and problems of others and that makes it common to see adolescents completely focused on their social or personal problems without paying attention to other things.
Except in extreme cases in which the adolescent shows a total lack of empathy or emotions and in which it will be necessary to contemplate the possibility to seek outside help, the most important thing is to show emotional support to our children, giving them at the same time the freedom to discover themselves and mature through their own experiences and mistakes. This seems easy, but feeling that our children look at us as strangers after being empathetic and loving children can be incomprehensible to many parents. The important thing is to know that they must live this stage on their own knowing that their tutors will always be there to support them.
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Tips to support our children when they are disconnected
There are different ways of approaching our children so that, despite looking to feel adults and independent, they feel they can count on us.
- Talk. It seems very topical and even easy, but it is something we often forget in the day to day. So far we may be more accustomed to having light conversations about day to day or even to discuss. However, given the emotional distance it is interesting to be able to talk, find a moment of meeting and sincere talk, asking them about their feelings, emotions and aspirations.
- Hear. It seems that listening is something inherent in the first point, but many times we forget to do it since we only want to be heard. Listen with great Mental openingWithout ridiculing the young person or not taking their opinions into account, it is crucial for them to feel they can count on us. For a teenager, feeling heard is the same as feeling important and taken into account. This creates a relationship of trust and attachment that can break the barriers that are being created.
- Support. Sometimes young people feel lost and frustrated without knowing how and where to fit in the world around them. Helping them find their passions and what moves them and supporting them in their paths can be crucial to increase their confidence.
- Act as models. Although young people do not seem to feel empathy or concern for the world around them, in the long term they learn to do so through the behavior of their role models. If their parents or guardians care about the world and the people around them, the children will end up doing so over time.
We cannot change the world in which young people are growing up. The information they consume and the models they find in the media can continue to reinforce this egocentric behavior and lack of empathy that can reduce relations with adults. But we can change the way we assume that young people are changing and act with patience and understanding. In case the adolescent's behavior is extremely lacking in empathy and emotions and we see that his behaviors move away from the healthy, do not hesitate to consult a psychology professional.