Information

Who teaches us how to be parents?

Who teaches us how to be parents?

Content

  • 1 What do you need to know to turn a baby into a healthy adult?
  • 2 Discipline in children
  • 3 How to enjoy more the company of children
  • 4 You are his best model

What do you need to know to turn a baby into a healthy adult?

The relationship between parents and children in the first years of life of children is of fundamental importance as psychologists are demonstrating. Science provides new clues for a more emotional and more profitable education for children.

Effectively combining family life with work life is increasingly difficult, so many times when we get home we are tired and do not have enough patience to devote a pleasant time to our children. To get to be better parents we must put a little of our part every day, because it is not a simple task. Some good tips to achieve this are the following:

  • Find time to spend alone with each of your children whenever you can, without interference from other people.
  • Do not worry if the house is untidy during the day, while everyone is fulfilling their obligations, but requires that they participate after cleaning at night. After all, the house belongs to everyone.
  • Learn to plan so as not to miss the satisfactory opportunities due to the occurrence of unforeseen events.
  • Don't always hide your feelings, although these are not always positive. Anger, indignation and confusion are emotions that your child must learn to face.
  • Propose family traditions to perform together as your own and not transferable from your family.
  • Cast everyone else out of the house from time to time to get the feeling that your house is your private territory.
  • If on any occasion you prefer not to confront family members verbally about something that bothers you, leave them notes, it is a very viable alternative option and avoid the first confrontation.
  • Choose one day every two weeks and intend not to shout all day.
  • Always have something available to eat that your family likes, because food is an important factor of enjoyment, health and well-being.
  • Don't do things for your children that they are able to do for themselves, so they will learn to be more autonomous and less dependent.
  • Accept your child in all its stages, we must understand that the growth process is irregular, episodic and incoherent. None of your children will have a perfect development process. Do not worry. If he notices that he is loved and accepted, valued for his virtues and not despised for his defects, he will end up liking it sooner or later.
  • Have friends to go out and share family activities. You cannot rely solely on the family to meet all social needs.
  • Learn to say "no".
  • Spend time every week alone with your spouse, without children or other distractions, a healthy couple life conveys peace and well-being to the other members of the family.

Discipline in children

Children have a hard time understanding the rules, and it is the parents who must teach them. Discipline is very necessary both to obtain a correct family dynamic, so that our child learns to control himself and can become a socially integrated adult, without problems of adaptation and consequently of self-esteem. If there are no consistent rules. Children do not know which way to go and are much more likely to make mistakes, which will also occur in adulthood.

Use these techniques to achieve better discipline at home:

  • The House Rules They must be established from the moment our son arrives at home. It is important that both parents agree on these rules, as they must be established jointly and by consensus, but the child will receive ambiguous messages and will not know what to do.
  • When you impose discipline do not undermine the self-esteem of your children, do not resort to ancient methods such as physical punishment, the imposition of authority and not giving explanations.
  • First of all it is convenient to explain the rules to the child, he must understand that things are not asked because yes, there is always a reason. The message you give should always be very clear and concrete. For example, it is preferable not to say "behave yourself," but "be polite and kind."
  • If your child misbehaves or resists obeying, avoid threats, screams and disqualifications. Don't criticize him as a person ("You are bad"), but to action ("what you have done is wrong") and explain why.
  • One of the best punishments is to take away something you like like watching TV, playing the console, giving it a treat on food (chocolate ...). If he loses control, send him to his room for five to ten minutes, depending on his age.
  • Do not get involved in power struggles Of which no one is likely to be victorious and you all end up screaming.
  • Say nice things to your children from time to time, especially if they do not expect it, this strengthens their confidence and self-esteem and helps create a pleasant climate between parents and children.
  • Learn to apologize when you're wrong, your children must know that you are human, and that you can have failures and plunge them, just like them. Learning to take responsibility for your mistakes and correct them is one of the best lessons you can teach.

How to enjoy more the company of children

To take advantage of the moments that we are with our children in the best possible way, have confidence in you and those around you, do not think about the negative but the positive about what surrounds you. Learn to appreciate the half full glass instead of the half empty glass. It will help you a lot to keep in mind the following tips:

  • We must try have fun in every moment, don't think about the obligations or the things you have to do if you play with him. When you are with your child you should make him feel that you are only for him and to enjoy his company.
  • Trust that your children are happy because they are well cared for and have parents who love them and care about them.
  • He thinks they respect you as a father, even if it doesn't always seem so, because deep down you are everything to him.
  • Feel satisfied with the work you do as a parent.
  • Say or do things from time to time that the child does not expect, this takes them out of the family routine.
  • Talk to your children about things that interest you, even if they seem not to understand what you are talking about, because that way we help them feel more integrated into our lives.
  • Defend your ideas firmly, but don't demand that children have the same opinions.
  • Don't ridicule Never something that your child takes very seriously.
  • Fight against excessive anxiety and worry, most of the time they are unsubstantiated concerns.
  • Think that your children appreciate all your contributions to their own triumphs, they like to feel that they value them, especially their parents.

You are his best model

Teach them to be better people, understanding that as humans we are not perfect, so they will learn that:

  • They don't have to always be right and that, even if they're wrong, they're still good people.
  • It is necessary to admit to correct it, since correcting errors is important for the correct adaptation to our society.
  • Not everything they want can be grantedThey must learn to accept a refusal to understand the value of things. In adult life, not everything is achieved and since childhood they have to accept that frustration exists.
  • Be honest at all times, children see in their parents a show of sincerity that they may not see elsewhere.
  • The behavior of the parents should not guide the future of the child, both in wishes, as in hobbies and feelings of the parents.
  • Have some creative activity that your child sees you play.
  • Teach them that a good family repairs the bad feelings that occur among its members.
  • Teach them the virtue of forgiving to others when they temporarily lose control.
  • Teach them that apology is a way of recognizing that another person is worthy of respect.
  • Teach them that it is not necessary to feed grudges because you feel guilty for something you have done. Everyone begins to hate the person to whom he harbors a feeling of guilt.
  • Teach them to apologize to their parents when they have been offended, and to resolve their regrets and their guilt complex.
    Knowing how to apologize to children when they have been offended or treated badly is the best method to show them that they are worthy of respect. Good parents treat their children with respect, children are also people.