Information

Is there a term for people who hate (or don't prefer ) things that are mainstream?

Is there a term for people who hate (or don't prefer ) things that are mainstream?

There are people who hate (or don't prefer ) things that are mainstream, is there a term for them ?

Any references to cognitive reasons for some people being odd in that way would be helpful.


This is more an anthropology question than psychology. Counter cultures and cults definitely are against mainstream society.

In America during the 60s there was a counter culture revolution. People found ideas from other cultures or invented cultural ideas and tried to bring them into mainstream. We called them all hippies at that time but now they are just ordinary people because their cultural revolution was largely popularized. People primarily associate hippies with a leftist movement but the Jesus freaks or Jesus movement was the equivalent in the religious conservative realm. Jesus freaks moved outside the realms of ordinary church. They were fundamentalist but spawned a diverse set of beliefs. The Jesus movement was also absorbed into mainstream culture and these two polar groups are a large reason why American belief systems are polarized between left and right in certain demographics at the moment.

Cults aggrandize a certain person, group of people or idea above family, government and the typical place of religion. I lived in Texas for a while so the first example that comes to my mind is Waco's Koresh who formed the group that was destroyed at their compound by the Clinton administration. He had a messiah complex mixed with some kind of hypersexualism. He was very charismatic and drew many people into his group with his pazazz. The of course the oft rumoured but very oft not found fundamental mormons which allow their people to be polygamist but god forbid any of those women ask to do polyandry. Putting a leader of a mormon church breakaway in jail became a national priority because in addition to the the polygamy there was incest in his groups.

Subcultures tend to be inside the realms of mainstream but hold to specific values that set the distinct. This might include the cowboy subculture, city dweller, yankee and southerner, various sexuality types, religious in various degrees and types. Freud had an interesting view that I've chosen to cherish his idea was like don't let yourself be defined by your sexuality (or other characteristic) instead embrace being human and all that it means.

Indeed people are drawn into counter-cultures outside of mainstream sometimes for positive and negative reasons. In general disenfranchisement by mainstream policies or values tends to lead people into depressive states which allows them to make atypical decisions to escape the pain of sadness. Oft people are drawn into cults by the charisma and happiness offered by the cult head or central idea. People tend to be born into subcultures and then choose to remain or seek out another group.


Consider iconoclast:

n.
One who attacks and seeks to overthrow traditional or popular ideas or institutions.

The previous answer covers various forms of reasoning on a larger scale. It can also be something much simpler, like being burned by popular trends, or finding that mainstream culture doesn't suit you (more unique individuals, etc).


'Haters' Are Going To Hate This Story

The word "Hater" — as it's often used today — is derived from the term "Player Hater," a phrase popularized by late rapper Notorious B.I.G., shown here clutching his Billboard Music Awards in 1995. Mark Lennihan/AP hide caption

The word "Hater" — as it's often used today — is derived from the term "Player Hater," a phrase popularized by late rapper Notorious B.I.G., shown here clutching his Billboard Music Awards in 1995.

Haters are here. And there. And everywhere. And the word "hate" is in the air.

Fox has a new sitcom: I Hate My Teenage Daughter. A recent issue of Us magazine tells us "Why Scarlett Johansson Hates Blake Lively." Psychology Today explains "Why We Hate Airport Security." Dick Meyer, formerly of NPR and now executive producer for news services at BBC America, wrote a provocative book called Why We Hate Us.

Mention lightning-rod superstars Tim Tebow, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga or umpteen others, and all the Haters come out to hate. You see Haters tweeting about Twilight and frequenting nearly every message board. "Facebook Needs a Hate Button," comedian Michael Lake writes on the Funny or Die website. The meme "Haters Gonna Hate" is omnipresent.

Haters and hating are popular fodder for singers and songwriters, such as Miranda Brooke, who just debuted a new single, "Hater."

Sure, there have always been Haters.

They used to find each other at public meetings and in specialty 'zines, but with the ubiquity of the Internet, Haters now gather together, and vent and feed on one another, and hone their craftiness — without ever leaving home.

And by Haters, we mean people who say they hate everything. We're not talking about evildoers or murderers. Just Haters.

Quotations About Haters, Through The Ages

Literature professors are quick to teach students about lovers — Romeo and Juliet Tristan and Isolde Prince Eric and Ariel, the Little Mermaid. But history is full of haters, too. And poets point them out to the rest of us. Here are five quotes about various kinds of haters:

Strange inconsistency of temperament, which makes the same men lovers of sloth and haters of tranquility. – Tacitus (c. 56-120 A.D.)

What's the meaning of all the pious clamor, condemning cocks and hens? Those who have no teeth are the greatest meat-haters. – Franz Grillparzer (1791-1872)

Love your enemy, bless your haters, said the Greatest of the great. – Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

My haters are my motivators . Young Money. — Nicki Minaj (b. 1982)

Haters can't see me, nosebleed seats. &mdash Lil Wayne (b. 1982)

Haters run the gamut — from disrupters at political rallies to sign makers at sports contests, from erudite misanthropes to semiliterate missive senders, from stand-up comedy hecklers to dish-served-cold revenge-seekers.

They can be passionate or passive-aggressive. They can be smart or stupid. But nowadays they seem to be everywhere.

What is their point? "Haters want to be feared and heard," says Brian Britt, a professor of religious studies at Virginia Tech University who studies the evolution of hate. "Their use of outrageous behaviors is designed strategically to get attention. They violate norms of 'niceness' and civil behavior in order to make a point."

Why Haters Hate

Haters know how to get attention on the Internet. Call it trolling — or, as Lawrence Dorfman calls it, snarkiness.

Author of The Snark Handbook and Snark! The Herald Angels Sing, Dorfman says that "people are just completely fed up and are looking for any way to shield themselves from the constant inundation of annoying behaviors that we're subjected to every minute of every day. . Snark is a defense mechanism."

There is much to snipe at and gripe about in contemporary America, Dorfman says. Here is part of his dis list:

* 24-Hour News Feeds: "A constant barrage of 'information' from every nook and cranny, seemingly all bad or inane, as the purveyors of this stuff need to fill the airwaves."

* Too Much Interconnectedness: "Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, IM-ing, texting, sexting, genu-flexting. We really don't have that much to say, do we?"

* A Predilection Toward Ease: "Hey, just Google it!"

* An Overpowering Sense of Entitlement: "There's 300 million of us . We can't all be the center of the universe. Laws, traffic signs, lines . these need to be obeyed . It's called civilization."

"I also think that the faceless aspect of our daily interaction gives rise to our collective disdain for our fellow humans," Dorfman says. "With more people telecommuting . coupled with our becoming an online consumer nation . coupled with our ridiculous fascination for the myriad of hand-held devices available . one practically never needs to leave the house. And left to his own devices, man will always believe the worst of his fellow man."

He adds, "It's really quite frustrating . and it's that frustration that has made us all very, very snarky. But then, I may just be a little cynical."

A Recent History Of Haters

Up against the contemporary cultural movements of self-confidence and self-esteem, the motives of people who hate are called into question, leading to Facebook pages with titles such as "If You Have Haters, You Must Be Doing Something Right."

The reasoning: Haters must be jealous or envious. So they are actually, in the zeitgeist, intensified fans. It may be a topsy-turvy take on the idea of hate, but for many self-confident people, it's a useful one. The word has been flipped — like the way "sick" can mean "cool."

This creative spin on Haters has its origins in the music world. Hip-hop historian Marcus Reeves, author of Somebody Scream!: Rap Music's Rise to Prominence in the Aftershock of Black Power, explains that the word "Hater" — as it's often used today — is derived from the term "Player Hater."

That phrase first surfaced in the late 1990s, as hip-hop was becoming mainstream, Reeves says. "It was popularized by Notorious B.I.G. who, before his death, was on the verge of blowing up the MC-as-pimp-player-hustler persona."

As rappers and rhythm-and-blues singers began to be seen "as working-class hustlers or urban players of a system set up to keep them out," Reeves says, "Player Hater was the term given to those who work against or criticize the make-it-by-any-means-necessary ethos of a successful rapper or any successful person."

The phrase was eventually shortened to Hater, Reeves says, encompassing "anyone who criticized — even constructively — a person's success or business practices."

The problem, he points out, was that the term "began to be used to shut down any criticism or examination of how one obtained success, like a rapper glorifying drug-dealing under the guise of showing listeners how real the streets are."


For the Introvert, Socializing Isn’t Just a Way to Pass the Time

As an introvert, it’s my natural tendency to always want every interaction to be about establishing a life-long deep connection, but I’ve learned that can put too much pressure on the average casual conversation. Sometimes it’s just about staying in practice with my (albeit limited) people skills until the day when someone suddenly wants to talk about their dreams and goals and all the things that makes them tick. It’s impossible to know where a conversation will lead unless you try.

I’m aware of just how ridiculous my socializing philosophy will sound to extroverts. To them, socializing itself is the end goal. My extroverted friends are always looking for something to do on the weekend, during the holidays, and even on work nights. They pursue socializing for the in-the-moment excitement that it brings. For me, attempting to socialize is a long-term goal, one that I carefully craft and balance so I don’t get mentally or emotionally overwhelmed.

“Going out” is rarely exciting for me in the moment. But I always have hope when attending a party or trying a new networking event that I’ll make a friend who is also dying for a quiet cup of coffee while chatting about life, or who wants to take a trip to the beach just so we can lay side by side and read in complete silence.

When I socialize, I’m not looking for a way just to pass the time. I already have a full list of hobbies and interests and not enough hours in the day to enjoy them all. But I’m always looking for a new person with whom I can share my passions and my world. Sometimes meeting that one new person can be worth the agony of socializing. I like to think I’m the kind of person worth socializing for, and I know I’m not the only one of my kind.

So, my fellow introverts, please occasionally put down your books, go out, and search for the people who make socializing worth it — because I’m out there looking for you.


'Gamers' don't have to be your audience. 'Gamers' are over.

I often say I’m a video game culture writer, but lately I don’t know exactly what that means. ‘Game culture’ as we know it is kind of embarrassing -- it’s not even culture. It’s buying things, spackling over memes and in-jokes repeatedly, and it’s getting mad on the internet.

It’s young men queuing with plush mushroom hats and backpacks and jutting promo poster rolls. Queuing passionately for hours, at events around the world, to see the things that marketers want them to see. To find out whether they should buy things or not. They don’t know how to dress or behave. Television cameras pan across these listless queues, and often catch the expressions of people who don’t quite know why they themselves are standing there.

‘Games culture’ is a petri dish of people who know so little about how human social interaction and professional life works that they can concoct online ‘wars’ about social justice or ‘game journalism ethics,’ straight-faced, and cause genuine human consequences. Because of video games.

Lately, I often find myself wondering what I’m even doing here. And I know I’m not alone.

All of us should be better than this. You should be deeply questioning your life choices if this and this and this are the prominent public face your business presents to the rest of the world.

"When you decline to create or to curate a culture in your spaces, you’re responsible for what spawns in the vacuum."

This is what the rest of the world knows about your industry -- this, and headlines about billion-dollar war simulators or those junkies with the touchscreen candies. That’s it. You should absolutely be better than this.

You don’t want to ‘be divisive?’ Who’s being divided, except for people who are okay with an infantilized cultural desert of shitty behavior and people who aren’t? What is there to ‘debate’?

Right, let’s say it’s a vocal minority that’s not representative of most people. Most people, from indies to industry leaders, are mortified, furious, disheartened at the direction industry conversation has taken in the past few weeks. It’s not like there are reputable outlets publishing rational articles in favor of the trolls’ ‘side’. Don’t give press to the harassers. Don’t blame an entire industry for a few bad apples.

Yet disclaiming liability is clearly no help. Game websites with huge community hubs whose fans are often associated with blunt Twitter hate mobs sort of shrug, they say things like ‘we delete the really bad stuff, what else can we do’ and ‘those people don’t represent our community’ -- but actually, those people do represent your community. That’s what your community is known for, whether you like it or not.

When you decline to create or to curate a culture in your spaces, you’re responsible for what spawns in the vacuum. That’s what’s been happening to games.

That’s not super surprising, actually. While video games themselves were discovered by strange, bright outcast pioneers -- they thought arcades would make pub games more fun, or that MUDs would make for amazing cross-cultural meeting spaces -- the commercial arm of the form sprung up from marketing high-end tech products to ‘early adopters’. You know, young white dudes with disposable income who like to Get Stuff.

Suddenly a generation of lonely basement kids had marketers whispering in their ears that they were the most important commercial demographic of all time. Suddenly they started wearing shiny blouses and pinning bikini babes onto everything they made, started making games that sold the promise of high-octane masculinity to kids just like them.

By the turn of the millennium those were games’ only main cultural signposts: Have money. Have women. Get a gun and then a bigger gun. Be an outcast. Celebrate that. Defeat anyone who threatens you. You don’t need cultural references. You don’t need anything but gaming. Public conversation was led by a games press whose role was primarily to tell people what to buy, to score products competitively against one another, to gleefully fuel the “team sports” atmosphere around creators and companies.

It makes a strange sort of sense that video games of that time would become scapegoats for moral panic, for atrocities committed by young white teen boys in hypercapitalist America -- not that the games themselves had anything to do with tragedies, but they had an anxiety in common, an amorphous cultural shape that was dark and loud on the outside, hollow on the inside.

"Traditional 'gaming' is sloughing off, culturally and economically, like the carapace of a bug."

Yet in 2014, the industry has changed. We still think angry young men are the primary demographic for commercial video games -- yet average software revenues from the commercial space have contracted massively year on year, with only a few sterling brands enjoying predictable success.

It’s clear that most of the people who drove those revenues in the past have grown up -- either out of games, or into more fertile spaces, where small and diverse titles can flourish, where communities can quickly spring up around creativity, self-expression and mutual support, rather than consumerism. There are new audiences and new creators alike there. Traditional “gaming” is sloughing off, culturally and economically, like the carapace of a bug.

This is hard for people who’ve drank the kool aid about how their identity depends on the aging cultural signposts of a rapidly-evolving, increasingly broad and complex medium. It’s hard for them to hear they don’t own anything, anymore, that they aren’t the world’s most special-est consumer demographic, that they have to share.

We also have to scrutinize, closely, the baffling, stubborn silence of many content creators amid these scandals, or the fact lots of stubborn, myopic internet comments happen on business and industry sites. This is hard for old-school developers who are being made redundant, both culturally and literally, in their unwillingness to address new audiences or reference points outside of blockbuster movies and comic books as their traditional domain falls into the sea around them. Of course it’s hard. It’s probably intense, painful stuff for some young kids, some older men.

But it’s unstoppable. A new generation of fans and creators is finally aiming to instate a healthy cultural vocabulary, a language of community that was missing in the days of “gamer pride” and special interest groups led by a product-guide approach to conversation with a single presumed demographic.

This means that over just the last few years, writing on games focuses on personal experiences and independent creators, not approval-hungry obeisance to the demands of powerful corporations. It’s not about ‘being a reviewer’ anymore. It’s not about telling people what to buy, it’s about providing spaces for people to discuss what (and whom) they support.

"'Gamer' isn't just a dated demographic label that most people increasingly prefer not to use. Gamers are over. That's why they’re so mad."

These straw man ‘game journalism ethics’ conversations people have been having are largely the domain of a prior age, when all we did was negotiate ad deals and review scores and scraped to be called ‘reporters’, because we had the same powerlessness complex as our audience had. Now part of a writer’s job in a creative, human medium is to help curate a creative community and an inclusive culture -- and a lack of commitment to that just looks out-of-step, like a partial compromise with the howling trolls who’ve latched onto ‘ethics’ as the latest flag in their onslaught against evolution and inclusion.

Developers and writers alike want games about more things, and games by more people. We want -- and we are getting, and will keep getting -- tragicomedy, vignette, musicals, dream worlds, family tales, ethnographies, abstract art. We will get this, because we’re creating culture now. We are refusing to let anyone feel prohibited from participating.

“Gamer” isn’t just a dated demographic label that most people increasingly prefer not to use. Gamers are over. That’s why they’re so mad.

These obtuse shitslingers, these wailing hyper-consumers, these childish internet-arguers -- they are not my audience. They don’t have to be yours. There is no ‘side’ to be on, there is no ‘debate’ to be had.

There is what’s past and there is what’s now. There is the role you choose to play in what’s ahead.


6 Things People Who Like Being Alone Never Worry About

A lot of people get scared of being alone or living on their own, but in reality, it can develop you as a person in a lot of different ways, as well as remove a lot of the worries that many people have.

This list puts together six of the most common things that people who like being alone just don’t have to deal with. We are pretty confident that this list is going to make you want to take some time for yourself, as well.

1. Other people’s opinions

People who are alone a lot of the time are a lot more confident of themselves than others. They don’t feel the need to impress people, or worry about negative opinions. They are comfortable in their own skin and they are proud of who they are so they don’t need to focus on winning the positive opinions of others.

2. Having to prove themselves

People who like being alone don’t feel the need to put on a front to impress people. They know exactly who they are and they don’t go out of their way to make a good impression. People who enjoy solitude know that the most important people will like them for exactly who they are, so there’s no need to be someone that they aren’t.

3. Doing things they don’t want to

People who are often alone are used to doing what they want, when they want, and this makes them a lot less likely to be roped into doing something that they don’t want to do. They’re also very good at occupying themselves when they are alone rather than letting themselves stew in their own boredom.

I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You’re not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones.
-Horacio Jones

4. Being alone

Being on your own allows you to become much more comfortable in your own company, and this makes it much easier to relax about finding someone to be with. People who are often alone are much less likely to settle for a relationship that doesn’t totally satisfy them, and this makes them much happier in the long run.

5. Missing out

When you’re used to being alone, your instinct as to what will be a fun evening gets much better. You can easily suss out what the best ways to spend your time are, and who the best company will be. Missing out isn’t an issue because you know whom you should go out with and where.

6. Needing alone time

Rather than having to carve out time for themselves to get some space and clear their heads, people who like being alone have a lot of time to call their own, and can choose what they want to do and when.

Taking time to be alone can really help you to figure out exactly who you are, and this is what gives you the confidence and comfortability to be who you want, and exactly who you are. So don’t be afraid to be alone because it can be really good for you.


Contents

According to Herdt, "homosexuality" was the main term used until the late 1950s and early 1960s after that, a new "gay" culture emerged. "This new gay culture increasingly marks a full spectrum of social life: not only same-sex desires but gay selves, gay neighbors, and gay social practices that are distinctive of our affluent, postindustrial society". [6]

During the 19th and early 20th centuries, gay culture was largely underground or coded, relying on in-group symbols and codes woven into ostensibly straight appearances. Gay influence in early America was more often visible in high culture, where it was nominally safer to be out. The association of gay men with opera, ballet, couture, fine cuisine, musical theater, the Golden Age of Hollywood and interior design began with wealthy homosexual men using the straight themes of these media to send their own signals. In the heterocentric Marilyn Monroe film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, a musical number features Jane Russell singing "Anyone Here for Love" in a gym while muscled men dance around her. The men's costumes were designed by a man, the dance was choreographed by a man and the dancers (as gay screenwriter Paul Rudnick points out) "seem more interested in each other than in Russell" however, her presence gets the sequence past the censors and works it into an overall heterocentric theme. [7]

After the 1969 Stonewall uprising in New York City was covered on the mainstream news channels, showing images of gay men rioting in the streets, gay male culture among the working classes, people of color, street people, radical political activists and hippies became more visible to mainstream America. Groups such as the Gay Liberation Front formed in New York City, and the Mattachine Society, which had been in existence and doing media since 1950, gained more visibility as they addressed the crowds and media in the wake of the uprisings in Greenwich Village. On June 28, 1970 the first Christopher Street Liberation Day was held, marking the beginning of annual Gay Pride marches.

In 1980 a group of seven gay men formed The Violet Quill in New York City, a literary club focused on writing about the gay experience as a normal plotline instead of a "naughty" sideline in a mostly straight story. An example is the novel A Boy's Own Story by Edmund White. In this first volume of a trilogy, White writes as a young homophilic narrator growing up with a corrupt and remote father. The young man learns bad habits from his straight father, applying them to his gay existence.

Female celebrities such as Liza Minnelli, Jane Fonda, and Bette Midler spent a significant amount of their social time with urban gay men (who were now popularly viewed as sophisticated and stylish by the jet set), and more male celebrities (such as Andy Warhol) were open about their relationships. Such openness was still limited to the largest and most progressive urban areas (such as New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, Washington, D.C., and New Orleans), however, until AIDS forced several popular celebrities out of the closet due to their illness with what was known at first as the "gay cancer". [8]

Elements identified more closely with gay men than with other groups include:

  • Pop-culture gay icons who have had a traditionally gay-male following (for example, disco, Britney Spears, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Judy Garland, Cher, Donna Summer, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Kylie Minogue, and Diana Ross)
  • Familiarity with aspects of romantic, sexual and social life common among gay men (for example, Polari, poppers, camp, fag hags and—in South AsianLGBTQ+ culture—"evening people") [9]

There are a number of subcultures within gay male culture, such as bears and chubbies. There are also subcultures with an historically large gay-male population, such as leather and SM. Gay critic Michael Musto opined, "I am a harsh critic of the gay community because I feel that when I first came out I thought I would be entering a world of nonconformity and individuality and, au contraire, it turned out to be a world of clones in a certain way. I also hated the whole body fascism thing that took over the gays for a long time." [10]

Relationships Edit

Some U.S. studies have found that the majority of gay male couples are in monogamous relationships. A representative U.S. study in 2018 found that 32% of gay male couples had open relationships. [11] Research by Colleen Hoff of 566 gay male couples from the San Francisco Bay Area funded by the National Institute of Mental Health found that 45 percent were in monogamous relationships, however it did not use a representative sample. Gay actor Neil Patrick Harris has remarked, "I'm a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I'm proud of how the nation is steering toward that." [12]

During the 1980s and 1990s, Sean Martin drew a comic strip (Doc and Raider) which featured a gay couple living in (or near) Toronto's Gay Village. His characters have recently been updated and moved to the Web. Although primarily humorous, the comic sometimes addressed issues such as gay-bashing, HIV, and spousal abuse.

An Australian study conducted by Roffee and Waling in 2016 discovered how some gay men felt like they were expected to be hyper-sexual. Participants reported how other gay men would automatically assume that any interaction had sexual motivations. Furthermore, if it was then clarified that this is not the case then these gay men would suddenly feel excluded and ignored by the other gay men with which they had been interacting with. They felt that they could not obtain purely platonic friendships with other gay men. One participant reported feeling alienated and disregarded as a person if they were not deemed by other gay men as sexually attractive. This presumption and attitude of hypersexuality is damaging, for it enforces preconceived ideals upon people, who are then ostracised if they do not meet these ideals. [13]

Online culture and communities Edit

A number of online social websites for gay men have been established. Initially, these concentrated on sexual contact or titillation typically, users were afforded a profile page, access to other members' pages, member-to-member messaging and instant-message chat. Smaller, more densely connected websites concentrating on social networking without a focus on sexual contact have been established. Some forbid all explicit sexual content others do not. [14] A gay-oriented retail online couponing site has also been established. [15]

Recent research suggests that gay men primarily make sense of familial and religious challenges by developing online peer supports (i.e., families of choice) in contrast to their family allies' focus on strengthening existing family of origin relationships via online information exchanges. Participants' reported online sociorelational benefits largely contradict recent research indicating that online use may lead to negative mental health outcomes. [16]

Notable gay and bisexual fashion designers include Giorgio Armani, Kenneth Nicholson, Alessandro Trincone, Ludovic de Saint Sernin, Patrick Church, Gianni Versace, Prabal Gurung, Michael Kors and others are among the LGBT fashion designers across the globe. [17]

As with gay men, lesbian culture includes elements from the larger LGBTQ+ culture, as well as other elements specific to the lesbian community. Pre-Stonewall organizations that advocated for lesbian rights, and provided networking opportunities for lesbians, included the Daughters of Bilitis, formed in San Francisco in 1955. Members held public demonstrations, spoke to the media, and published a newsletter.

Primarily associated with lesbians in North America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand, lesbian culture has often involved large, predominantly lesbian "women's" events such as the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival [18] (closed after 2015) and the Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend. [19] [20] Lesbian culture has its own icons, such as Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang (butch), Ellen DeGeneres (androgynous) and Portia de Rossi (femme). Lesbian culture since the late 20th century has often been entwined with the evolution of feminism. Lesbian separatism is an example of a lesbian theory and practice identifying specifically lesbian interests and ideas and promoting a specific lesbian culture. [21] [22] [23] Examples of this included womyn's land and women's music. Identity-based sports teams have also been associated with lesbian culture, particularly with the rise of lesbian softball teams and leagues in the 1980s and 1990s. Softball and other athletic teams created social community and allowed lesbians to reject social expectations of physicality, but were typically considered separated from lesbian feminism and political activism. [24]

1950's and early '60s stereotypes of lesbian women stressed a binary of "butch" women, or dykes (who present masculine) and "femmes", or lipstick lesbians (who present feminine), and considered a stereotypical lesbian couple a butch-femme pair. In the 1970s, androgyny, political lesbianism, and lesbian separatism became more common, along with the creation of women's land communities. The late 1980s and '90s saw a resurgence of butch-femme, and influences from punk, grunge, riot grrrl, emo, and hipster subcultures. [25] In the '00s and '10s, the rise of Non-binary gender gender identities brought some degree of return to androgynous styles, though at times with different intentions and interpretations than in the 1970s.

Bisexual culture emphasizes opposition to, or disregard of, fixed sexual and gender identity monosexism (discrimination against bisexual, fluid, pansexual and queer-identified people), bisexual erasure and biphobia (hatred or mistrust of non-monosexual people). Biphobia is common (although lessening) in the gay, lesbian and straight communities. [ citation needed ] [26]

Many bisexual, fluid and pansexual people consider themselves to be part of the LGBTQ+ or queer community, despite any discrimination they may face. Western bisexual, pansexual, and fluid cultures also have their own touchstones, such as the books Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out (edited by Lani Ka'ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins), [27] Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution (by Shiri Eisner), and Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World (edited by Robyn Ochs) [28] the British science fiction television series Torchwood and personalities such as British singer and activist Tom Robinson, [29] The Black Eyed Peas member Fergie, Scottish actor Alan Cumming and American performance artist and activist Lady Gaga. [29] [ citation needed ]

The bisexual pride flag was designed by Michael Page in 1998 to give the community its own symbol, comparable to the gay pride flag of the mainstream LGBTQ+ community. The deep pink (or rose) stripe at the top of the flag represents same-gender attraction the royal blue stripe at the bottom of the flag represents different-gender attraction. The stripes overlap in the central fifth of the flag to form a deep shade of lavender (or purple), representing attraction anywhere along the gender spectrum. [30] Celebrate Bisexuality Day has been observed on September 23 by members of the bisexual community and its allies since 1999. [31] [32]

The study of transgender and transsexual culture is complicated by the many ways in which cultures deal with sexual identity/sexual orientation and gender. For example, in many cultures people who are attracted to people of the same sex—that is, those who in contemporary Western culture would identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual—are classed as a third gender with people who would (in the West) be classified as transgender.

In the contemporary West there are different groups of transgender and transsexual people, such as groups for transsexual people who want sex reassignment surgery, male, heterosexual-only cross-dressers and Trans men's groups. Groups encompassing all transgender people, both trans men, trans women, and non-binary people, have appeared in recent years.

Some transgender or transsexual women and men, however, do not identify as part of a specific "trans" culture. A distinction may be made between transgender and transsexual people who make their past known to others and those who wish to live according to their gender identity and not reveal their past (believing that they should be able to live normally in their true gender role, and control to whom they reveal their past). [33]

According to a study done by the Williams Institute of UCLA on "How Many Adults Identify as Transgender in the United States?", [34] they found that younger adults are more likely to identify as transgender than older adults. This may be a result of a newly wider acceptance of transgender people from the communities, allowing for those who identify as transgender to have a greater voice. In their research they found that an estimated 0.7% of adults between the ages of 18 and 24 identify as transgender, while 0.6% of adults age 25 to 64 and 0.5% of adults age 65 or older identify as transgender.

The pink on the transgender pride flag represents female while the baby blue on the flag represents male. The white stripe in between the baby blue and pink represents other genders besides male or female. [35]

Transgender relationships

In the report "Views from both sides of the bridge? Gender, sexual legitimacy, and transgender people's experiences of relationships", authors Iantaffi and Bockting conducted a study with 1229 transgender individuals over 18 years old, to learn more about transgender relationships in the US. When it came to a relationships within a transgender person, it depended on if they wanted a heteronormative or mainstream culture relationship. The results from the study showed that transgender people reinforced the idea of heteronormativity, seen in their gender practices and beliefs. Although, there are also transgender people that try to challenge Western traditional beliefs in gender roles and sexual differences within relationships. [36]

Events Edit

Many annual events are observed by the transgender community. One of the most widely observed is the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) which is held every year on November 20 in honor of Rita Hester, who was killed on November 28, 1998, in an anti-transgender hate crime. TDOR serves a number of purposes:

  • it memorializes all of those who have been victims of hate crimes and prejudice
  • it raises awareness about hate crimes towards the transgender community
  • and it honors the dead and their relatives [37]

Another of these events is the Trans March, a series of annual marches, protests or gatherings that take place around the world, often during the time of the local pride week. These events are frequently organized by transgender communities to build community, address human rights struggles, and create visibility.

Youth pride, an extension of the gay pride and LGBTQ+ social movements, promotes equality amongst young members (usually above the age of consent) of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or transgender, intersex and questioning (LGBTQ+) community. [38] The movement exists in many countries and focuses on festivals and parades, enabling many LGBTQ+ youth to network, communicate, and celebrate their gender and sexual identities. [38] Youth Pride organizers also point to the value in building community and supporting young people, since they are more likely to be bullied. [39] Schools with a gay-straight alliance (GSA) handle discrimination and violence against LGBTQ+ youth better than schools without it they develop community and coping skills, and give students a safe space to obtain health and safety information. [40] Sometimes the groups avoid labeling young people, preferring to let them identify themselves on their own terms "when they feel safe". [41]

Gay and lesbian youth have increased risks for suicide, substance abuse, school problems and isolation because of a "hostile and condemning environment, verbal and physical abuse, rejection and isolation from family and peers", according to a U.S. Task Force on Youth Suicide report. [42] Further, LGBTQ+ youths are more likely to report psychological and physical abuse by parents or caretakers, and more sexual abuse. Suggested reasons for this disparity are:

  • youths may be specifically targeted on the basis of their perceived sexual orientation or gender non-conforming appearance.
  • ". Risk factors associated with sexual minority status, including discrimination, invisibility, and rejection by family members. may lead to an increase in behaviors that are associated with risk for victimization, such as substance abuse, sex with multiple partners, or running away from home as a teenager." [43]

A 2008 study showed a correlation between the degree of parental rejection of LGB adolescents and negative health problems in the teenagers studied. [44] Crisis centers in larger cities and information sites on the Internet have arisen to help youth and adults. [45] A suicide-prevention helpline for LGBT youth is part of The Trevor Project, established by the filmmakers after the 1998 HBO telecast of the Academy Award-winning short film Trevor Daniel Radcliffe donated a large sum to the group, and has appeared in its public service announcements condemning homophobia. [46]

Increasing mainstream acceptance of the LGBTQ+ communities prompted the Massachusetts Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth to begin an annual Gay-Straight Youth Pride observance in 1995. [38] [47] In 1997 the nonprofit Youth Pride Alliance, a coalition of 25 youth-support and advocacy groups, was founded to hold an annual youth-pride event in Washington, D.C. [48] Candace Gingrich was a speaker the following year. [49] In 1999, the first annual Vermont Youth Pride Day was held. As of 2009 it is the largest queer and allied-youth event in Vermont, organized by Outright Vermont to "break the geographic and social barriers gay youngsters living in rural communities face." [50] In 2002, a college fair was added to the event to connect students with colleges and discuss student safety. [51] In April 2003 a Youth Pride Chorus, organized with New York's LGBT Community Center, began rehearsals and later performed at a June Carnegie Hall Pride concert with the New York City Gay Men's Chorus. [52]

In 2004 the San Diego chapter of Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) worked with San Diego Youth Pride coordinators to organize a Day of Silence throughout the county. [53] In 2005, Decatur (Georgia) Youth Pride participated in a counter-demonstration against Westboro Baptist Church (led by church head Fred Phelps' daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper), who were "greeting students and faculty as they arrived with words such as 'God hates fag enablers' and 'Thank God for 9/11'" at ten locations. [54] In 2008 Chicago's Youth Pride Center, primarily serving "LGBT youth of color", opened a temporary location and planned to move into their new building on Chicago's South Side in 2010. [55] In 2009, the Utah Pride Center held an event to coincide with Youth Pride Walk 2009, a "cross-country walk by two Utah women trying to draw attention to the problems faced by homeless LGBT youth". [56] In August 2010 the first Hollywood Youth Pride was held, focusing on the "large number of homeless LGBT youth living on Los Angeles streets." [57] According to a 2007 report, "Of the estimated 1.6 million homeless American youth, between 20 and 40 percent identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender". [58] At larger pride parades and festivals there are often LGBTQ+ or queer youth contingents, and some festivals designate safe spaces for young people. [59] [60]

LGBT youth are more likely to be homeless than heterosexual, cisgender youth due to the rejection from their parents because of their sexual orientation, or gender identity (Choi et al., 2015 Durso and Gates, 2012 Mallon, 1992 Whitbeck et al., 2004). Out of the 1.6 million homeless people in the United States, forty percent of them identify as part of the LGBT community. [61] In a survey of street outreach programs 7% of the youth were transgender (Whitbeck, Lazoritz, Crawford, & Hautala, 2014). Many of the transgender youth that are placed in homeless shelters do not get the type of help they need and often experience discrimination and systemic barriers that include sex-segregated programs in institutional practices that refuse to understand their gender. Many transgender youths have problems acquiring shelters because of certain policies like binary gender rules, dress codes, and room assignments (Thaler et al., 2009). Problems with classification happen when the procedures or policies of a shelter require the youth to be segregated based on their assigned sex rather than what they classify themselves as. As a result, many of the LGBT youth end up on the street instead of shelters which are meant to protect them. [62]


Contents

Arts Edit

Gustave Flaubert once declared that he would "die of suppressed rage at the folly of [his] fellow men." [1] Misanthropy has also been ascribed to a number of writers of satire, such as William S. Gilbert ("I hate my fellow-man") and William Shakespeare (Timon of Athens). Jonathan Swift is widely believed to have been misanthropic (see A Tale of a Tub and, most especially, Book IV of Gulliver's Travels). Poet Philip Larkin has been described as a misanthrope. [2]

Molière's play The Misanthrope is one of the more famous French plays on this topic. Less famous, but more contemporary is the 1971 play by Françoise Dorin, Un sale égoïste (A Filthy Egoist) which takes the point of view of the misanthrope and entices the viewer to understand his motives.

Philosophy Edit

The pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus was by various accounts a misanthrope and a loner who had little patience for human society. [3] [4] In a fragment, the philosopher complained that "people [were] forever without understanding" of what was, in his view, the nature of reality.

In Western philosophy, misanthropy has been connected to isolation from human society. In Plato's Phaedo, Socrates describes a misanthrope in relation to his fellow man: "Misanthropy develops when without art one puts complete trust in somebody thinking the man absolutely true and sound and reliable and then a little later discovers him to be bad and unreliable . and when it happens to someone often . he ends up . hating everyone." [5] Misanthropy, then, is presented as a potential result of thwarted expectations or even excessively naïve optimism, since Plato argues that "art" would have allowed the potential misanthrope to recognize that the majority of men are to be found in between good and evil. [6] Aristotle follows a more ontological route: the misanthrope, as an essentially solitary man, is not a man at all: he must be a beast or a god, a view reflected in the Renaissance view of misanthropy as a "beast-like state". [7]

There is a difference between philosophical pessimism and misanthropy. Immanuel Kant said that "Of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing can ever be made", and yet this was not an expression of the uselessness of mankind itself. Kant further stated that hatred of mankind can take two distinctive forms: aversion from men (anthropophobia) and enmity towards them. [8] The condition can arise partly from dislike and partly from ill-will. [8]

Martin Heidegger has also been said [9] to show misanthropy in his concern of the "they"—the tendency of people to conform to one view, which no one has really thought through, but is just followed because, "they say so". This might be thought of as more a criticism of conformity than of people in general. Unlike Schopenhauer, Heidegger was opposed to any systematic ethics however, in some of his later thought, he does see the possibility of harmony between people, as part of the four-fold, mortals, gods, earth, and sky.

In the Judeo-Islamic philosophies (800–1400), the Jewish philosopher, Saadia Gaon, uses the Platonic idea that the self-isolated man is dehumanized by friendlessness to argue against the misanthropy of anchorite asceticism and reclusiveness. [10]


Misanthropy: When You Just Don’t Like Other People

“I hate mankind,” said Dr Johnson, “for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.” Whether or not Johnson was being serious, such dislike is certainly common. It is also a view that tends to be mocked and ridiculed. Misanthropic characters in film or literature, for example, are often comic (even Shakespeare depicts the “melancholy” Jaques in As You Like It as absurd), and misanthropic friends will be given affectionate names like “the grouch” or “the grump.” But misanthropy can also be a symptom of depression, and may even presage an imminent psychological breakdown.


9 LGBTQ+ People Explain How They Love, Hate, and Understand the Word "Queer"

I first came to know the word “queer” when I was 12, as I sashayed around the car to help my mother unload groceries. I said some sassy comment, some quip. She lifted her head, looked at me, and said, “Don’t act queer.” I can still feel the sting of her words.

How remarkable that, just a few years later, a generation of people would come to use a word once associated with so much hate and violence to arm ourselves. Today, the word “queer” is a way for us to create space for those who have been othered by the LGBTQ+ rights movement, by social norms and customs, and by outdated notions of gender. Depending on whom you ask, there are a million conflicting meanings for the word. Many still see it as a degrading slur. Many others embrace it with pride.

“Queer” is not the first word of its kind to be reclaimed. But unlike others, “queer” seems poised to represent all of us. It’s a word charged with as many meanings, emotions, and historical perspectives as there are shades of LGBTQ+ identity. To come closer to understanding it, we sought nine perspectives from those who use it on what “queer” means to them.

Tai Farnsworth, writer (she/her)

Growing up, I identified as bisexual. While I’m still comfortable with that term, it doesn’t encapsulate the nuance of my sexuality. “Queer” feels better for me, because what I truly am is bisexual and homoromantic.

Here’s what that means. While I find cisgender men attractive, I am not authentically me when I date them. For me, “bisexual” means being sexually attracted to all genders and gender expressions, but “homoromantic” means I only have romantic feelings in queer relationships. Because this is a little complex, I just say “queer.”

"Even as a slur, the word described those who exist outside of what society mandates." — Steven "Z" Patton

Steven “Z” Patton, community activist and public speaker (he/she/they)

Identities are personal, but they are also how we advertise ourselves, so they are often very circumstantial, too. For example, I’m queer, trans, non-binary, and Mexican, and this is how I’d express myself to a partner. But when talking to someone with whom I have a rocky relationship, I’ll simply be a “gay male.”

I’m 33. When I was a kid, “queer” was a pejorative. The neighborhood kids played a game called “smear the queer.” You’d toss a football back and forth, and whoever caught it was the “queer” for everyone to tackle. So yes, queer-bashing was literally a childhood ritual.

In middle school, kids followed me home calling me “queer,” “fag,” and more. As an adult, I've been harassed with these same slurs. So I understand why generations before me balk at the word.

That said, I know how empowering it feels to reclaim words that have been used to harm us, and I appreciate “queer” specifically because it has always carried a sense of undefined abstractness. Even as a slur, the word described those who exist outside of what society mandates, so it’s fitting that the term now defies all restrictions of love and self that the world has placed on us.

Kristy Zoshak, “queer witch” (she/her)

I'm a 40-year-old woman who identifies as queer. In middle school, I knew I was attracted to guys and girls. I dated a few women before marrying a man. The relationship was abusive, so I left and started dating a gender-nonconforming human.

At this stage in my life, given the experiences I've had, “queer” feels more inclusive to me. I know different people have different perspectives, but for me, it represents an inclusive umbrella term that speaks to me.

Daniel Reynolds, Social Media Editor at The Advocate (he/him)

As a synonym for “not straight,” “queer” is a great umbrella word for a wide variety of people across a spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. I love the inclusivity of the term, but for myself, I prefer “gay” for its specificity.

“Gay” clearly communicates that I am a man who is interested in other men. Moreover, my preference for "gay" speaks to my age. I'm 33, and “queer” wasn't widely used when I was coming out. I think you'll find an inverse correlation between age and comfort with the “queer” label.

Previous generations have a strong aversion to the term. As The Advocate's social media editor, I routinely observe a backlash to “queer” (when it's used in a headline, for example) from older gay men who only know the word as a slur. This is part of the term's history — it was (and still is) a word used to hurt us that has been reclaimed.

Reclamation is powerful, but I also understand how those who lived through some of the darkest days of legal and societal discrimination are not comfortable using a slur that was sometimes used alongside physical violence in a celebratory way. Its usage, even in LGBTQ spaces, is triggering to some people.

Vonte Abrams, visual merchandising artist (they/them)

Growing up, “queer” was not a term I heard weaponized — at least not as much as “faggot” — so I recognize that I lack a certain emotional response associated with its use.

For me, queerness encompasses my sexual identity as someone uncomfortable with binary presentation. It also encompasses my rebuke of cisgender and heteronormative privilege and the intersection of these privileges with white privilege. LGBT+ labels tend to presume a binary origination, and their usage coincides with a social movement that seeks assimilation and erases the existence of non-binary identities. Using “queer” as a catch-all umbrella term, whether intentionally or not, silences that important fringe voice.

My queerness encompasses that voice, my voice, as a Black, male-assigned, non-binary individual who harshly critiques the status quo. I embrace “non-binary” because I am naturally androgynous — puberty gave me a physical and emotional blend of masculine and feminine traits. I’ve learned over time that navigating societal rules of binary presentation is always going to be a unique challenge for me. “Queer” helps me face that challenge.

"Queerness liberates me by showing me that living non-normatively is healthy and valuable." — Chris Donaghue

Faati, tech scholar (she/they)

I believe in taking power back from words used to dehumanize us. I say “nigga” regularly and love being able to say it, because it reminds me of the dual relationship all black people hold with our blackness. That joy of blackness is tied with the sadness of knowing just how much your people have suffered due to that blackness. So, I like the reclamation of slurs. However, just as I wouldn't call every black person “nigga,” I wouldn't call every LGBT person “queer,” only those who self-identify with the term.

Chris Donaghue, PhD, sex therapist and author of Rebel Love (he/him)

“Queer” challenges the assumed binary of sexual and gender identity. Many use the term as being synonymous with “gay”, but to me, that misses its meaning. “Queer” is about non-normativity, creativity, and diversity far beyond homonormative culture.

The gay identity stereotypically comes with expectations around gender performance, politics, body standards, and sexual desires, and these feel oppressive to many people. For us, “queer” allows for community-building with those who don’t subscribe to gay standards.

Queerness liberates me by showing me that living non-normatively (living outside the ideals of toxic masculinity, femme-phobia, being a top or a bottom, or solely dating cis men) is all healthy and valuable. I apply the lens of queerness to my work in psychology, where I “queer” all that psychology, culture, and media have told us about how to love, relate, express, and have sex.

"The queer having bareback sex in the back room of a club might not identify with the term ‘queer’ or think of their actions as political, but in rejecting what society says they should be doing, they are queer." — Jason Orne

Lear D., IT professional (he/him)

Seeing gay male friends reclaim “queer” makes me happy for them, but I’m still ambivalent about the term being “reclaimed” (acquired? co-opted? expanded?) by younger generations to mean anything they want it to mean.

On the one hand, I'm glad that younger people won't have to fight as hard as I did for inclusivity. On the other hand, I feel like I’m watching youngsters steal history from those who struggled and died for it and turn it into something that is, at times, both powerful and farcical.

I’m a trans man. When I was younger, I identified as “bisexual,” but now I identify as many things: transgender, transsexual (I’m both), and more. I came to grips with my gender identity when I was 38, began social transition in 2018, and began medical transition last January. At this point, I don't feel like any sexual entanglement I get into can be anything but “queer.”

Jason Orne, Asst. Professor of Sociology at Drexel University and author of Boystown: Sex and Community in Chicago (he/him)

As I discussed in my book, “queer” has three overlapping (but not synonymous) meanings. The overlap between these meanings results in what I call “conceptual inflation” of the term. Simply put, people use the word and identify with it, and they assume others mean it the same way they do.

First, there is “queer” as an umbrella term. Rather than use the alphabet soup of LGBTQQIIAAPSS+, “queer” encompasses any non-cisgender, non-heterosexual identity, relationship, behavior, or desire. I use “queer” this way because I think it includes a wide variety of ways people are non-cisgender and/or non-heterosexual.

That said, “queer” as an umbrella term does a lot of flattening, and this flattening is what certain people — namely those who identify with “queer” as a kind of leftist political stance of “identity-less non-definition” — take issue with. They don’t use “queer” as a term meaning “all definitions,” but rather as “no definition.” Since everyone is unique in their desires, behaviors, and communities, shouldn’t their identity be uniquely theirs? Some people use “queer” to mean this uniqueness.

I say this usage is leftist because I’ve found it associated with a kind of ultra-left political critique of power structures (which often appears, as I and others have pointed out, like a profound misreading of Foucault). This is the queer you’ll see at a queer political event, a queer with an identity politics that often says, paradoxically, that the truth about an issue can only come from someone with the correct combination of marginalized identities to speak on said issue.

It’s paradoxical because these queer leftists are usually white, and they pepper their events and issues with a kind of “diversity by numbers” approach. I call this approach “queernormativity.” Like heteronormativity, they identify a “right” way to be queer and argue that everyone else is doing queerness incorrectly.

The third group of people who use “queer” reject that there is any right way to be queer, and this rejection of any “right” way to do anything is what makes them queer. This is “queer” as in “queer sex radical,” a queerness rooted in anti-respectability and focused on fun and pleasure. A queer in this vein might not identify with the term, but they reject the normal and are committed to living an alternative lifestyle that emphasizes pleasure in a world of violence.

The queer having bareback sex in the back room of a club might not identify with the term “queer” or think of their actions as political, but in rejecting what society says they should be doing, they are queer.

As I said, these terms are overlapping. I identify as queer: “queer” in my rejection of respectability, “queer” because my identity doesn’t fit within simple boxes like “gay” or “man,” and “queer” because I fall somewhere in that umbrella of non-hetorosexual, non-cisgender identities. I would tell a stranger I’m a “gay man” because I assume they’re unprepared to understand that I’m neither.

“Queer” is all these things. And for some people, it’s none of them — it’s just a slur thrown at us for being different. But I am different, and I like that.


For the Introvert, Socializing Isn’t Just a Way to Pass the Time

As an introvert, it’s my natural tendency to always want every interaction to be about establishing a life-long deep connection, but I’ve learned that can put too much pressure on the average casual conversation. Sometimes it’s just about staying in practice with my (albeit limited) people skills until the day when someone suddenly wants to talk about their dreams and goals and all the things that makes them tick. It’s impossible to know where a conversation will lead unless you try.

I’m aware of just how ridiculous my socializing philosophy will sound to extroverts. To them, socializing itself is the end goal. My extroverted friends are always looking for something to do on the weekend, during the holidays, and even on work nights. They pursue socializing for the in-the-moment excitement that it brings. For me, attempting to socialize is a long-term goal, one that I carefully craft and balance so I don’t get mentally or emotionally overwhelmed.

“Going out” is rarely exciting for me in the moment. But I always have hope when attending a party or trying a new networking event that I’ll make a friend who is also dying for a quiet cup of coffee while chatting about life, or who wants to take a trip to the beach just so we can lay side by side and read in complete silence.

When I socialize, I’m not looking for a way just to pass the time. I already have a full list of hobbies and interests and not enough hours in the day to enjoy them all. But I’m always looking for a new person with whom I can share my passions and my world. Sometimes meeting that one new person can be worth the agony of socializing. I like to think I’m the kind of person worth socializing for, and I know I’m not the only one of my kind.

So, my fellow introverts, please occasionally put down your books, go out, and search for the people who make socializing worth it — because I’m out there looking for you.


9 LGBTQ+ People Explain How They Love, Hate, and Understand the Word "Queer"

I first came to know the word “queer” when I was 12, as I sashayed around the car to help my mother unload groceries. I said some sassy comment, some quip. She lifted her head, looked at me, and said, “Don’t act queer.” I can still feel the sting of her words.

How remarkable that, just a few years later, a generation of people would come to use a word once associated with so much hate and violence to arm ourselves. Today, the word “queer” is a way for us to create space for those who have been othered by the LGBTQ+ rights movement, by social norms and customs, and by outdated notions of gender. Depending on whom you ask, there are a million conflicting meanings for the word. Many still see it as a degrading slur. Many others embrace it with pride.

“Queer” is not the first word of its kind to be reclaimed. But unlike others, “queer” seems poised to represent all of us. It’s a word charged with as many meanings, emotions, and historical perspectives as there are shades of LGBTQ+ identity. To come closer to understanding it, we sought nine perspectives from those who use it on what “queer” means to them.

Tai Farnsworth, writer (she/her)

Growing up, I identified as bisexual. While I’m still comfortable with that term, it doesn’t encapsulate the nuance of my sexuality. “Queer” feels better for me, because what I truly am is bisexual and homoromantic.

Here’s what that means. While I find cisgender men attractive, I am not authentically me when I date them. For me, “bisexual” means being sexually attracted to all genders and gender expressions, but “homoromantic” means I only have romantic feelings in queer relationships. Because this is a little complex, I just say “queer.”

"Even as a slur, the word described those who exist outside of what society mandates." — Steven "Z" Patton

Steven “Z” Patton, community activist and public speaker (he/she/they)

Identities are personal, but they are also how we advertise ourselves, so they are often very circumstantial, too. For example, I’m queer, trans, non-binary, and Mexican, and this is how I’d express myself to a partner. But when talking to someone with whom I have a rocky relationship, I’ll simply be a “gay male.”

I’m 33. When I was a kid, “queer” was a pejorative. The neighborhood kids played a game called “smear the queer.” You’d toss a football back and forth, and whoever caught it was the “queer” for everyone to tackle. So yes, queer-bashing was literally a childhood ritual.

In middle school, kids followed me home calling me “queer,” “fag,” and more. As an adult, I've been harassed with these same slurs. So I understand why generations before me balk at the word.

That said, I know how empowering it feels to reclaim words that have been used to harm us, and I appreciate “queer” specifically because it has always carried a sense of undefined abstractness. Even as a slur, the word described those who exist outside of what society mandates, so it’s fitting that the term now defies all restrictions of love and self that the world has placed on us.

Kristy Zoshak, “queer witch” (she/her)

I'm a 40-year-old woman who identifies as queer. In middle school, I knew I was attracted to guys and girls. I dated a few women before marrying a man. The relationship was abusive, so I left and started dating a gender-nonconforming human.

At this stage in my life, given the experiences I've had, “queer” feels more inclusive to me. I know different people have different perspectives, but for me, it represents an inclusive umbrella term that speaks to me.

Daniel Reynolds, Social Media Editor at The Advocate (he/him)

As a synonym for “not straight,” “queer” is a great umbrella word for a wide variety of people across a spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. I love the inclusivity of the term, but for myself, I prefer “gay” for its specificity.

“Gay” clearly communicates that I am a man who is interested in other men. Moreover, my preference for "gay" speaks to my age. I'm 33, and “queer” wasn't widely used when I was coming out. I think you'll find an inverse correlation between age and comfort with the “queer” label.

Previous generations have a strong aversion to the term. As The Advocate's social media editor, I routinely observe a backlash to “queer” (when it's used in a headline, for example) from older gay men who only know the word as a slur. This is part of the term's history — it was (and still is) a word used to hurt us that has been reclaimed.

Reclamation is powerful, but I also understand how those who lived through some of the darkest days of legal and societal discrimination are not comfortable using a slur that was sometimes used alongside physical violence in a celebratory way. Its usage, even in LGBTQ spaces, is triggering to some people.

Vonte Abrams, visual merchandising artist (they/them)

Growing up, “queer” was not a term I heard weaponized — at least not as much as “faggot” — so I recognize that I lack a certain emotional response associated with its use.

For me, queerness encompasses my sexual identity as someone uncomfortable with binary presentation. It also encompasses my rebuke of cisgender and heteronormative privilege and the intersection of these privileges with white privilege. LGBT+ labels tend to presume a binary origination, and their usage coincides with a social movement that seeks assimilation and erases the existence of non-binary identities. Using “queer” as a catch-all umbrella term, whether intentionally or not, silences that important fringe voice.

My queerness encompasses that voice, my voice, as a Black, male-assigned, non-binary individual who harshly critiques the status quo. I embrace “non-binary” because I am naturally androgynous — puberty gave me a physical and emotional blend of masculine and feminine traits. I’ve learned over time that navigating societal rules of binary presentation is always going to be a unique challenge for me. “Queer” helps me face that challenge.

"Queerness liberates me by showing me that living non-normatively is healthy and valuable." — Chris Donaghue

Faati, tech scholar (she/they)

I believe in taking power back from words used to dehumanize us. I say “nigga” regularly and love being able to say it, because it reminds me of the dual relationship all black people hold with our blackness. That joy of blackness is tied with the sadness of knowing just how much your people have suffered due to that blackness. So, I like the reclamation of slurs. However, just as I wouldn't call every black person “nigga,” I wouldn't call every LGBT person “queer,” only those who self-identify with the term.

Chris Donaghue, PhD, sex therapist and author of Rebel Love (he/him)

“Queer” challenges the assumed binary of sexual and gender identity. Many use the term as being synonymous with “gay”, but to me, that misses its meaning. “Queer” is about non-normativity, creativity, and diversity far beyond homonormative culture.

The gay identity stereotypically comes with expectations around gender performance, politics, body standards, and sexual desires, and these feel oppressive to many people. For us, “queer” allows for community-building with those who don’t subscribe to gay standards.

Queerness liberates me by showing me that living non-normatively (living outside the ideals of toxic masculinity, femme-phobia, being a top or a bottom, or solely dating cis men) is all healthy and valuable. I apply the lens of queerness to my work in psychology, where I “queer” all that psychology, culture, and media have told us about how to love, relate, express, and have sex.

"The queer having bareback sex in the back room of a club might not identify with the term ‘queer’ or think of their actions as political, but in rejecting what society says they should be doing, they are queer." — Jason Orne

Lear D., IT professional (he/him)

Seeing gay male friends reclaim “queer” makes me happy for them, but I’m still ambivalent about the term being “reclaimed” (acquired? co-opted? expanded?) by younger generations to mean anything they want it to mean.

On the one hand, I'm glad that younger people won't have to fight as hard as I did for inclusivity. On the other hand, I feel like I’m watching youngsters steal history from those who struggled and died for it and turn it into something that is, at times, both powerful and farcical.

I’m a trans man. When I was younger, I identified as “bisexual,” but now I identify as many things: transgender, transsexual (I’m both), and more. I came to grips with my gender identity when I was 38, began social transition in 2018, and began medical transition last January. At this point, I don't feel like any sexual entanglement I get into can be anything but “queer.”

Jason Orne, Asst. Professor of Sociology at Drexel University and author of Boystown: Sex and Community in Chicago (he/him)

As I discussed in my book, “queer” has three overlapping (but not synonymous) meanings. The overlap between these meanings results in what I call “conceptual inflation” of the term. Simply put, people use the word and identify with it, and they assume others mean it the same way they do.

First, there is “queer” as an umbrella term. Rather than use the alphabet soup of LGBTQQIIAAPSS+, “queer” encompasses any non-cisgender, non-heterosexual identity, relationship, behavior, or desire. I use “queer” this way because I think it includes a wide variety of ways people are non-cisgender and/or non-heterosexual.

That said, “queer” as an umbrella term does a lot of flattening, and this flattening is what certain people — namely those who identify with “queer” as a kind of leftist political stance of “identity-less non-definition” — take issue with. They don’t use “queer” as a term meaning “all definitions,” but rather as “no definition.” Since everyone is unique in their desires, behaviors, and communities, shouldn’t their identity be uniquely theirs? Some people use “queer” to mean this uniqueness.

I say this usage is leftist because I’ve found it associated with a kind of ultra-left political critique of power structures (which often appears, as I and others have pointed out, like a profound misreading of Foucault). This is the queer you’ll see at a queer political event, a queer with an identity politics that often says, paradoxically, that the truth about an issue can only come from someone with the correct combination of marginalized identities to speak on said issue.

It’s paradoxical because these queer leftists are usually white, and they pepper their events and issues with a kind of “diversity by numbers” approach. I call this approach “queernormativity.” Like heteronormativity, they identify a “right” way to be queer and argue that everyone else is doing queerness incorrectly.

The third group of people who use “queer” reject that there is any right way to be queer, and this rejection of any “right” way to do anything is what makes them queer. This is “queer” as in “queer sex radical,” a queerness rooted in anti-respectability and focused on fun and pleasure. A queer in this vein might not identify with the term, but they reject the normal and are committed to living an alternative lifestyle that emphasizes pleasure in a world of violence.

The queer having bareback sex in the back room of a club might not identify with the term “queer” or think of their actions as political, but in rejecting what society says they should be doing, they are queer.

As I said, these terms are overlapping. I identify as queer: “queer” in my rejection of respectability, “queer” because my identity doesn’t fit within simple boxes like “gay” or “man,” and “queer” because I fall somewhere in that umbrella of non-hetorosexual, non-cisgender identities. I would tell a stranger I’m a “gay man” because I assume they’re unprepared to understand that I’m neither.

“Queer” is all these things. And for some people, it’s none of them — it’s just a slur thrown at us for being different. But I am different, and I like that.


'Haters' Are Going To Hate This Story

The word "Hater" — as it's often used today — is derived from the term "Player Hater," a phrase popularized by late rapper Notorious B.I.G., shown here clutching his Billboard Music Awards in 1995. Mark Lennihan/AP hide caption

The word "Hater" — as it's often used today — is derived from the term "Player Hater," a phrase popularized by late rapper Notorious B.I.G., shown here clutching his Billboard Music Awards in 1995.

Haters are here. And there. And everywhere. And the word "hate" is in the air.

Fox has a new sitcom: I Hate My Teenage Daughter. A recent issue of Us magazine tells us "Why Scarlett Johansson Hates Blake Lively." Psychology Today explains "Why We Hate Airport Security." Dick Meyer, formerly of NPR and now executive producer for news services at BBC America, wrote a provocative book called Why We Hate Us.

Mention lightning-rod superstars Tim Tebow, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga or umpteen others, and all the Haters come out to hate. You see Haters tweeting about Twilight and frequenting nearly every message board. "Facebook Needs a Hate Button," comedian Michael Lake writes on the Funny or Die website. The meme "Haters Gonna Hate" is omnipresent.

Haters and hating are popular fodder for singers and songwriters, such as Miranda Brooke, who just debuted a new single, "Hater."

Sure, there have always been Haters.

They used to find each other at public meetings and in specialty 'zines, but with the ubiquity of the Internet, Haters now gather together, and vent and feed on one another, and hone their craftiness — without ever leaving home.

And by Haters, we mean people who say they hate everything. We're not talking about evildoers or murderers. Just Haters.

Quotations About Haters, Through The Ages

Literature professors are quick to teach students about lovers — Romeo and Juliet Tristan and Isolde Prince Eric and Ariel, the Little Mermaid. But history is full of haters, too. And poets point them out to the rest of us. Here are five quotes about various kinds of haters:

Strange inconsistency of temperament, which makes the same men lovers of sloth and haters of tranquility. – Tacitus (c. 56-120 A.D.)

What's the meaning of all the pious clamor, condemning cocks and hens? Those who have no teeth are the greatest meat-haters. – Franz Grillparzer (1791-1872)

Love your enemy, bless your haters, said the Greatest of the great. – Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

My haters are my motivators . Young Money. — Nicki Minaj (b. 1982)

Haters can't see me, nosebleed seats. &mdash Lil Wayne (b. 1982)

Haters run the gamut — from disrupters at political rallies to sign makers at sports contests, from erudite misanthropes to semiliterate missive senders, from stand-up comedy hecklers to dish-served-cold revenge-seekers.

They can be passionate or passive-aggressive. They can be smart or stupid. But nowadays they seem to be everywhere.

What is their point? "Haters want to be feared and heard," says Brian Britt, a professor of religious studies at Virginia Tech University who studies the evolution of hate. "Their use of outrageous behaviors is designed strategically to get attention. They violate norms of 'niceness' and civil behavior in order to make a point."

Why Haters Hate

Haters know how to get attention on the Internet. Call it trolling — or, as Lawrence Dorfman calls it, snarkiness.

Author of The Snark Handbook and Snark! The Herald Angels Sing, Dorfman says that "people are just completely fed up and are looking for any way to shield themselves from the constant inundation of annoying behaviors that we're subjected to every minute of every day. . Snark is a defense mechanism."

There is much to snipe at and gripe about in contemporary America, Dorfman says. Here is part of his dis list:

* 24-Hour News Feeds: "A constant barrage of 'information' from every nook and cranny, seemingly all bad or inane, as the purveyors of this stuff need to fill the airwaves."

* Too Much Interconnectedness: "Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, IM-ing, texting, sexting, genu-flexting. We really don't have that much to say, do we?"

* A Predilection Toward Ease: "Hey, just Google it!"

* An Overpowering Sense of Entitlement: "There's 300 million of us . We can't all be the center of the universe. Laws, traffic signs, lines . these need to be obeyed . It's called civilization."

"I also think that the faceless aspect of our daily interaction gives rise to our collective disdain for our fellow humans," Dorfman says. "With more people telecommuting . coupled with our becoming an online consumer nation . coupled with our ridiculous fascination for the myriad of hand-held devices available . one practically never needs to leave the house. And left to his own devices, man will always believe the worst of his fellow man."

He adds, "It's really quite frustrating . and it's that frustration that has made us all very, very snarky. But then, I may just be a little cynical."

A Recent History Of Haters

Up against the contemporary cultural movements of self-confidence and self-esteem, the motives of people who hate are called into question, leading to Facebook pages with titles such as "If You Have Haters, You Must Be Doing Something Right."

The reasoning: Haters must be jealous or envious. So they are actually, in the zeitgeist, intensified fans. It may be a topsy-turvy take on the idea of hate, but for many self-confident people, it's a useful one. The word has been flipped — like the way "sick" can mean "cool."

This creative spin on Haters has its origins in the music world. Hip-hop historian Marcus Reeves, author of Somebody Scream!: Rap Music's Rise to Prominence in the Aftershock of Black Power, explains that the word "Hater" — as it's often used today — is derived from the term "Player Hater."

That phrase first surfaced in the late 1990s, as hip-hop was becoming mainstream, Reeves says. "It was popularized by Notorious B.I.G. who, before his death, was on the verge of blowing up the MC-as-pimp-player-hustler persona."

As rappers and rhythm-and-blues singers began to be seen "as working-class hustlers or urban players of a system set up to keep them out," Reeves says, "Player Hater was the term given to those who work against or criticize the make-it-by-any-means-necessary ethos of a successful rapper or any successful person."

The phrase was eventually shortened to Hater, Reeves says, encompassing "anyone who criticized — even constructively — a person's success or business practices."

The problem, he points out, was that the term "began to be used to shut down any criticism or examination of how one obtained success, like a rapper glorifying drug-dealing under the guise of showing listeners how real the streets are."


'Gamers' don't have to be your audience. 'Gamers' are over.

I often say I’m a video game culture writer, but lately I don’t know exactly what that means. ‘Game culture’ as we know it is kind of embarrassing -- it’s not even culture. It’s buying things, spackling over memes and in-jokes repeatedly, and it’s getting mad on the internet.

It’s young men queuing with plush mushroom hats and backpacks and jutting promo poster rolls. Queuing passionately for hours, at events around the world, to see the things that marketers want them to see. To find out whether they should buy things or not. They don’t know how to dress or behave. Television cameras pan across these listless queues, and often catch the expressions of people who don’t quite know why they themselves are standing there.

‘Games culture’ is a petri dish of people who know so little about how human social interaction and professional life works that they can concoct online ‘wars’ about social justice or ‘game journalism ethics,’ straight-faced, and cause genuine human consequences. Because of video games.

Lately, I often find myself wondering what I’m even doing here. And I know I’m not alone.

All of us should be better than this. You should be deeply questioning your life choices if this and this and this are the prominent public face your business presents to the rest of the world.

"When you decline to create or to curate a culture in your spaces, you’re responsible for what spawns in the vacuum."

This is what the rest of the world knows about your industry -- this, and headlines about billion-dollar war simulators or those junkies with the touchscreen candies. That’s it. You should absolutely be better than this.

You don’t want to ‘be divisive?’ Who’s being divided, except for people who are okay with an infantilized cultural desert of shitty behavior and people who aren’t? What is there to ‘debate’?

Right, let’s say it’s a vocal minority that’s not representative of most people. Most people, from indies to industry leaders, are mortified, furious, disheartened at the direction industry conversation has taken in the past few weeks. It’s not like there are reputable outlets publishing rational articles in favor of the trolls’ ‘side’. Don’t give press to the harassers. Don’t blame an entire industry for a few bad apples.

Yet disclaiming liability is clearly no help. Game websites with huge community hubs whose fans are often associated with blunt Twitter hate mobs sort of shrug, they say things like ‘we delete the really bad stuff, what else can we do’ and ‘those people don’t represent our community’ -- but actually, those people do represent your community. That’s what your community is known for, whether you like it or not.

When you decline to create or to curate a culture in your spaces, you’re responsible for what spawns in the vacuum. That’s what’s been happening to games.

That’s not super surprising, actually. While video games themselves were discovered by strange, bright outcast pioneers -- they thought arcades would make pub games more fun, or that MUDs would make for amazing cross-cultural meeting spaces -- the commercial arm of the form sprung up from marketing high-end tech products to ‘early adopters’. You know, young white dudes with disposable income who like to Get Stuff.

Suddenly a generation of lonely basement kids had marketers whispering in their ears that they were the most important commercial demographic of all time. Suddenly they started wearing shiny blouses and pinning bikini babes onto everything they made, started making games that sold the promise of high-octane masculinity to kids just like them.

By the turn of the millennium those were games’ only main cultural signposts: Have money. Have women. Get a gun and then a bigger gun. Be an outcast. Celebrate that. Defeat anyone who threatens you. You don’t need cultural references. You don’t need anything but gaming. Public conversation was led by a games press whose role was primarily to tell people what to buy, to score products competitively against one another, to gleefully fuel the “team sports” atmosphere around creators and companies.

It makes a strange sort of sense that video games of that time would become scapegoats for moral panic, for atrocities committed by young white teen boys in hypercapitalist America -- not that the games themselves had anything to do with tragedies, but they had an anxiety in common, an amorphous cultural shape that was dark and loud on the outside, hollow on the inside.

"Traditional 'gaming' is sloughing off, culturally and economically, like the carapace of a bug."

Yet in 2014, the industry has changed. We still think angry young men are the primary demographic for commercial video games -- yet average software revenues from the commercial space have contracted massively year on year, with only a few sterling brands enjoying predictable success.

It’s clear that most of the people who drove those revenues in the past have grown up -- either out of games, or into more fertile spaces, where small and diverse titles can flourish, where communities can quickly spring up around creativity, self-expression and mutual support, rather than consumerism. There are new audiences and new creators alike there. Traditional “gaming” is sloughing off, culturally and economically, like the carapace of a bug.

This is hard for people who’ve drank the kool aid about how their identity depends on the aging cultural signposts of a rapidly-evolving, increasingly broad and complex medium. It’s hard for them to hear they don’t own anything, anymore, that they aren’t the world’s most special-est consumer demographic, that they have to share.

We also have to scrutinize, closely, the baffling, stubborn silence of many content creators amid these scandals, or the fact lots of stubborn, myopic internet comments happen on business and industry sites. This is hard for old-school developers who are being made redundant, both culturally and literally, in their unwillingness to address new audiences or reference points outside of blockbuster movies and comic books as their traditional domain falls into the sea around them. Of course it’s hard. It’s probably intense, painful stuff for some young kids, some older men.

But it’s unstoppable. A new generation of fans and creators is finally aiming to instate a healthy cultural vocabulary, a language of community that was missing in the days of “gamer pride” and special interest groups led by a product-guide approach to conversation with a single presumed demographic.

This means that over just the last few years, writing on games focuses on personal experiences and independent creators, not approval-hungry obeisance to the demands of powerful corporations. It’s not about ‘being a reviewer’ anymore. It’s not about telling people what to buy, it’s about providing spaces for people to discuss what (and whom) they support.

"'Gamer' isn't just a dated demographic label that most people increasingly prefer not to use. Gamers are over. That's why they’re so mad."

These straw man ‘game journalism ethics’ conversations people have been having are largely the domain of a prior age, when all we did was negotiate ad deals and review scores and scraped to be called ‘reporters’, because we had the same powerlessness complex as our audience had. Now part of a writer’s job in a creative, human medium is to help curate a creative community and an inclusive culture -- and a lack of commitment to that just looks out-of-step, like a partial compromise with the howling trolls who’ve latched onto ‘ethics’ as the latest flag in their onslaught against evolution and inclusion.

Developers and writers alike want games about more things, and games by more people. We want -- and we are getting, and will keep getting -- tragicomedy, vignette, musicals, dream worlds, family tales, ethnographies, abstract art. We will get this, because we’re creating culture now. We are refusing to let anyone feel prohibited from participating.

“Gamer” isn’t just a dated demographic label that most people increasingly prefer not to use. Gamers are over. That’s why they’re so mad.

These obtuse shitslingers, these wailing hyper-consumers, these childish internet-arguers -- they are not my audience. They don’t have to be yours. There is no ‘side’ to be on, there is no ‘debate’ to be had.

There is what’s past and there is what’s now. There is the role you choose to play in what’s ahead.


6 Things People Who Like Being Alone Never Worry About

A lot of people get scared of being alone or living on their own, but in reality, it can develop you as a person in a lot of different ways, as well as remove a lot of the worries that many people have.

This list puts together six of the most common things that people who like being alone just don’t have to deal with. We are pretty confident that this list is going to make you want to take some time for yourself, as well.

1. Other people’s opinions

People who are alone a lot of the time are a lot more confident of themselves than others. They don’t feel the need to impress people, or worry about negative opinions. They are comfortable in their own skin and they are proud of who they are so they don’t need to focus on winning the positive opinions of others.

2. Having to prove themselves

People who like being alone don’t feel the need to put on a front to impress people. They know exactly who they are and they don’t go out of their way to make a good impression. People who enjoy solitude know that the most important people will like them for exactly who they are, so there’s no need to be someone that they aren’t.

3. Doing things they don’t want to

People who are often alone are used to doing what they want, when they want, and this makes them a lot less likely to be roped into doing something that they don’t want to do. They’re also very good at occupying themselves when they are alone rather than letting themselves stew in their own boredom.

I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You’re not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones.
-Horacio Jones

4. Being alone

Being on your own allows you to become much more comfortable in your own company, and this makes it much easier to relax about finding someone to be with. People who are often alone are much less likely to settle for a relationship that doesn’t totally satisfy them, and this makes them much happier in the long run.

5. Missing out

When you’re used to being alone, your instinct as to what will be a fun evening gets much better. You can easily suss out what the best ways to spend your time are, and who the best company will be. Missing out isn’t an issue because you know whom you should go out with and where.

6. Needing alone time

Rather than having to carve out time for themselves to get some space and clear their heads, people who like being alone have a lot of time to call their own, and can choose what they want to do and when.

Taking time to be alone can really help you to figure out exactly who you are, and this is what gives you the confidence and comfortability to be who you want, and exactly who you are. So don’t be afraid to be alone because it can be really good for you.


Contents

According to Herdt, "homosexuality" was the main term used until the late 1950s and early 1960s after that, a new "gay" culture emerged. "This new gay culture increasingly marks a full spectrum of social life: not only same-sex desires but gay selves, gay neighbors, and gay social practices that are distinctive of our affluent, postindustrial society". [6]

During the 19th and early 20th centuries, gay culture was largely underground or coded, relying on in-group symbols and codes woven into ostensibly straight appearances. Gay influence in early America was more often visible in high culture, where it was nominally safer to be out. The association of gay men with opera, ballet, couture, fine cuisine, musical theater, the Golden Age of Hollywood and interior design began with wealthy homosexual men using the straight themes of these media to send their own signals. In the heterocentric Marilyn Monroe film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, a musical number features Jane Russell singing "Anyone Here for Love" in a gym while muscled men dance around her. The men's costumes were designed by a man, the dance was choreographed by a man and the dancers (as gay screenwriter Paul Rudnick points out) "seem more interested in each other than in Russell" however, her presence gets the sequence past the censors and works it into an overall heterocentric theme. [7]

After the 1969 Stonewall uprising in New York City was covered on the mainstream news channels, showing images of gay men rioting in the streets, gay male culture among the working classes, people of color, street people, radical political activists and hippies became more visible to mainstream America. Groups such as the Gay Liberation Front formed in New York City, and the Mattachine Society, which had been in existence and doing media since 1950, gained more visibility as they addressed the crowds and media in the wake of the uprisings in Greenwich Village. On June 28, 1970 the first Christopher Street Liberation Day was held, marking the beginning of annual Gay Pride marches.

In 1980 a group of seven gay men formed The Violet Quill in New York City, a literary club focused on writing about the gay experience as a normal plotline instead of a "naughty" sideline in a mostly straight story. An example is the novel A Boy's Own Story by Edmund White. In this first volume of a trilogy, White writes as a young homophilic narrator growing up with a corrupt and remote father. The young man learns bad habits from his straight father, applying them to his gay existence.

Female celebrities such as Liza Minnelli, Jane Fonda, and Bette Midler spent a significant amount of their social time with urban gay men (who were now popularly viewed as sophisticated and stylish by the jet set), and more male celebrities (such as Andy Warhol) were open about their relationships. Such openness was still limited to the largest and most progressive urban areas (such as New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, Washington, D.C., and New Orleans), however, until AIDS forced several popular celebrities out of the closet due to their illness with what was known at first as the "gay cancer". [8]

Elements identified more closely with gay men than with other groups include:

  • Pop-culture gay icons who have had a traditionally gay-male following (for example, disco, Britney Spears, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Judy Garland, Cher, Donna Summer, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Kylie Minogue, and Diana Ross)
  • Familiarity with aspects of romantic, sexual and social life common among gay men (for example, Polari, poppers, camp, fag hags and—in South AsianLGBTQ+ culture—"evening people") [9]

There are a number of subcultures within gay male culture, such as bears and chubbies. There are also subcultures with an historically large gay-male population, such as leather and SM. Gay critic Michael Musto opined, "I am a harsh critic of the gay community because I feel that when I first came out I thought I would be entering a world of nonconformity and individuality and, au contraire, it turned out to be a world of clones in a certain way. I also hated the whole body fascism thing that took over the gays for a long time." [10]

Relationships Edit

Some U.S. studies have found that the majority of gay male couples are in monogamous relationships. A representative U.S. study in 2018 found that 32% of gay male couples had open relationships. [11] Research by Colleen Hoff of 566 gay male couples from the San Francisco Bay Area funded by the National Institute of Mental Health found that 45 percent were in monogamous relationships, however it did not use a representative sample. Gay actor Neil Patrick Harris has remarked, "I'm a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I'm proud of how the nation is steering toward that." [12]

During the 1980s and 1990s, Sean Martin drew a comic strip (Doc and Raider) which featured a gay couple living in (or near) Toronto's Gay Village. His characters have recently been updated and moved to the Web. Although primarily humorous, the comic sometimes addressed issues such as gay-bashing, HIV, and spousal abuse.

An Australian study conducted by Roffee and Waling in 2016 discovered how some gay men felt like they were expected to be hyper-sexual. Participants reported how other gay men would automatically assume that any interaction had sexual motivations. Furthermore, if it was then clarified that this is not the case then these gay men would suddenly feel excluded and ignored by the other gay men with which they had been interacting with. They felt that they could not obtain purely platonic friendships with other gay men. One participant reported feeling alienated and disregarded as a person if they were not deemed by other gay men as sexually attractive. This presumption and attitude of hypersexuality is damaging, for it enforces preconceived ideals upon people, who are then ostracised if they do not meet these ideals. [13]

Online culture and communities Edit

A number of online social websites for gay men have been established. Initially, these concentrated on sexual contact or titillation typically, users were afforded a profile page, access to other members' pages, member-to-member messaging and instant-message chat. Smaller, more densely connected websites concentrating on social networking without a focus on sexual contact have been established. Some forbid all explicit sexual content others do not. [14] A gay-oriented retail online couponing site has also been established. [15]

Recent research suggests that gay men primarily make sense of familial and religious challenges by developing online peer supports (i.e., families of choice) in contrast to their family allies' focus on strengthening existing family of origin relationships via online information exchanges. Participants' reported online sociorelational benefits largely contradict recent research indicating that online use may lead to negative mental health outcomes. [16]

Notable gay and bisexual fashion designers include Giorgio Armani, Kenneth Nicholson, Alessandro Trincone, Ludovic de Saint Sernin, Patrick Church, Gianni Versace, Prabal Gurung, Michael Kors and others are among the LGBT fashion designers across the globe. [17]

As with gay men, lesbian culture includes elements from the larger LGBTQ+ culture, as well as other elements specific to the lesbian community. Pre-Stonewall organizations that advocated for lesbian rights, and provided networking opportunities for lesbians, included the Daughters of Bilitis, formed in San Francisco in 1955. Members held public demonstrations, spoke to the media, and published a newsletter.

Primarily associated with lesbians in North America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand, lesbian culture has often involved large, predominantly lesbian "women's" events such as the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival [18] (closed after 2015) and the Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend. [19] [20] Lesbian culture has its own icons, such as Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang (butch), Ellen DeGeneres (androgynous) and Portia de Rossi (femme). Lesbian culture since the late 20th century has often been entwined with the evolution of feminism. Lesbian separatism is an example of a lesbian theory and practice identifying specifically lesbian interests and ideas and promoting a specific lesbian culture. [21] [22] [23] Examples of this included womyn's land and women's music. Identity-based sports teams have also been associated with lesbian culture, particularly with the rise of lesbian softball teams and leagues in the 1980s and 1990s. Softball and other athletic teams created social community and allowed lesbians to reject social expectations of physicality, but were typically considered separated from lesbian feminism and political activism. [24]

1950's and early '60s stereotypes of lesbian women stressed a binary of "butch" women, or dykes (who present masculine) and "femmes", or lipstick lesbians (who present feminine), and considered a stereotypical lesbian couple a butch-femme pair. In the 1970s, androgyny, political lesbianism, and lesbian separatism became more common, along with the creation of women's land communities. The late 1980s and '90s saw a resurgence of butch-femme, and influences from punk, grunge, riot grrrl, emo, and hipster subcultures. [25] In the '00s and '10s, the rise of Non-binary gender gender identities brought some degree of return to androgynous styles, though at times with different intentions and interpretations than in the 1970s.

Bisexual culture emphasizes opposition to, or disregard of, fixed sexual and gender identity monosexism (discrimination against bisexual, fluid, pansexual and queer-identified people), bisexual erasure and biphobia (hatred or mistrust of non-monosexual people). Biphobia is common (although lessening) in the gay, lesbian and straight communities. [ citation needed ] [26]

Many bisexual, fluid and pansexual people consider themselves to be part of the LGBTQ+ or queer community, despite any discrimination they may face. Western bisexual, pansexual, and fluid cultures also have their own touchstones, such as the books Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out (edited by Lani Ka'ahumanu and Loraine Hutchins), [27] Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution (by Shiri Eisner), and Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World (edited by Robyn Ochs) [28] the British science fiction television series Torchwood and personalities such as British singer and activist Tom Robinson, [29] The Black Eyed Peas member Fergie, Scottish actor Alan Cumming and American performance artist and activist Lady Gaga. [29] [ citation needed ]

The bisexual pride flag was designed by Michael Page in 1998 to give the community its own symbol, comparable to the gay pride flag of the mainstream LGBTQ+ community. The deep pink (or rose) stripe at the top of the flag represents same-gender attraction the royal blue stripe at the bottom of the flag represents different-gender attraction. The stripes overlap in the central fifth of the flag to form a deep shade of lavender (or purple), representing attraction anywhere along the gender spectrum. [30] Celebrate Bisexuality Day has been observed on September 23 by members of the bisexual community and its allies since 1999. [31] [32]

The study of transgender and transsexual culture is complicated by the many ways in which cultures deal with sexual identity/sexual orientation and gender. For example, in many cultures people who are attracted to people of the same sex—that is, those who in contemporary Western culture would identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual—are classed as a third gender with people who would (in the West) be classified as transgender.

In the contemporary West there are different groups of transgender and transsexual people, such as groups for transsexual people who want sex reassignment surgery, male, heterosexual-only cross-dressers and Trans men's groups. Groups encompassing all transgender people, both trans men, trans women, and non-binary people, have appeared in recent years.

Some transgender or transsexual women and men, however, do not identify as part of a specific "trans" culture. A distinction may be made between transgender and transsexual people who make their past known to others and those who wish to live according to their gender identity and not reveal their past (believing that they should be able to live normally in their true gender role, and control to whom they reveal their past). [33]

According to a study done by the Williams Institute of UCLA on "How Many Adults Identify as Transgender in the United States?", [34] they found that younger adults are more likely to identify as transgender than older adults. This may be a result of a newly wider acceptance of transgender people from the communities, allowing for those who identify as transgender to have a greater voice. In their research they found that an estimated 0.7% of adults between the ages of 18 and 24 identify as transgender, while 0.6% of adults age 25 to 64 and 0.5% of adults age 65 or older identify as transgender.

The pink on the transgender pride flag represents female while the baby blue on the flag represents male. The white stripe in between the baby blue and pink represents other genders besides male or female. [35]

Transgender relationships

In the report "Views from both sides of the bridge? Gender, sexual legitimacy, and transgender people's experiences of relationships", authors Iantaffi and Bockting conducted a study with 1229 transgender individuals over 18 years old, to learn more about transgender relationships in the US. When it came to a relationships within a transgender person, it depended on if they wanted a heteronormative or mainstream culture relationship. The results from the study showed that transgender people reinforced the idea of heteronormativity, seen in their gender practices and beliefs. Although, there are also transgender people that try to challenge Western traditional beliefs in gender roles and sexual differences within relationships. [36]

Events Edit

Many annual events are observed by the transgender community. One of the most widely observed is the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) which is held every year on November 20 in honor of Rita Hester, who was killed on November 28, 1998, in an anti-transgender hate crime. TDOR serves a number of purposes:

  • it memorializes all of those who have been victims of hate crimes and prejudice
  • it raises awareness about hate crimes towards the transgender community
  • and it honors the dead and their relatives [37]

Another of these events is the Trans March, a series of annual marches, protests or gatherings that take place around the world, often during the time of the local pride week. These events are frequently organized by transgender communities to build community, address human rights struggles, and create visibility.

Youth pride, an extension of the gay pride and LGBTQ+ social movements, promotes equality amongst young members (usually above the age of consent) of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or transgender, intersex and questioning (LGBTQ+) community. [38] The movement exists in many countries and focuses on festivals and parades, enabling many LGBTQ+ youth to network, communicate, and celebrate their gender and sexual identities. [38] Youth Pride organizers also point to the value in building community and supporting young people, since they are more likely to be bullied. [39] Schools with a gay-straight alliance (GSA) handle discrimination and violence against LGBTQ+ youth better than schools without it they develop community and coping skills, and give students a safe space to obtain health and safety information. [40] Sometimes the groups avoid labeling young people, preferring to let them identify themselves on their own terms "when they feel safe". [41]

Gay and lesbian youth have increased risks for suicide, substance abuse, school problems and isolation because of a "hostile and condemning environment, verbal and physical abuse, rejection and isolation from family and peers", according to a U.S. Task Force on Youth Suicide report. [42] Further, LGBTQ+ youths are more likely to report psychological and physical abuse by parents or caretakers, and more sexual abuse. Suggested reasons for this disparity are:

  • youths may be specifically targeted on the basis of their perceived sexual orientation or gender non-conforming appearance.
  • ". Risk factors associated with sexual minority status, including discrimination, invisibility, and rejection by family members. may lead to an increase in behaviors that are associated with risk for victimization, such as substance abuse, sex with multiple partners, or running away from home as a teenager." [43]

A 2008 study showed a correlation between the degree of parental rejection of LGB adolescents and negative health problems in the teenagers studied. [44] Crisis centers in larger cities and information sites on the Internet have arisen to help youth and adults. [45] A suicide-prevention helpline for LGBT youth is part of The Trevor Project, established by the filmmakers after the 1998 HBO telecast of the Academy Award-winning short film Trevor Daniel Radcliffe donated a large sum to the group, and has appeared in its public service announcements condemning homophobia. [46]

Increasing mainstream acceptance of the LGBTQ+ communities prompted the Massachusetts Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth to begin an annual Gay-Straight Youth Pride observance in 1995. [38] [47] In 1997 the nonprofit Youth Pride Alliance, a coalition of 25 youth-support and advocacy groups, was founded to hold an annual youth-pride event in Washington, D.C. [48] Candace Gingrich was a speaker the following year. [49] In 1999, the first annual Vermont Youth Pride Day was held. As of 2009 it is the largest queer and allied-youth event in Vermont, organized by Outright Vermont to "break the geographic and social barriers gay youngsters living in rural communities face." [50] In 2002, a college fair was added to the event to connect students with colleges and discuss student safety. [51] In April 2003 a Youth Pride Chorus, organized with New York's LGBT Community Center, began rehearsals and later performed at a June Carnegie Hall Pride concert with the New York City Gay Men's Chorus. [52]

In 2004 the San Diego chapter of Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) worked with San Diego Youth Pride coordinators to organize a Day of Silence throughout the county. [53] In 2005, Decatur (Georgia) Youth Pride participated in a counter-demonstration against Westboro Baptist Church (led by church head Fred Phelps' daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper), who were "greeting students and faculty as they arrived with words such as 'God hates fag enablers' and 'Thank God for 9/11'" at ten locations. [54] In 2008 Chicago's Youth Pride Center, primarily serving "LGBT youth of color", opened a temporary location and planned to move into their new building on Chicago's South Side in 2010. [55] In 2009, the Utah Pride Center held an event to coincide with Youth Pride Walk 2009, a "cross-country walk by two Utah women trying to draw attention to the problems faced by homeless LGBT youth". [56] In August 2010 the first Hollywood Youth Pride was held, focusing on the "large number of homeless LGBT youth living on Los Angeles streets." [57] According to a 2007 report, "Of the estimated 1.6 million homeless American youth, between 20 and 40 percent identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender". [58] At larger pride parades and festivals there are often LGBTQ+ or queer youth contingents, and some festivals designate safe spaces for young people. [59] [60]

LGBT youth are more likely to be homeless than heterosexual, cisgender youth due to the rejection from their parents because of their sexual orientation, or gender identity (Choi et al., 2015 Durso and Gates, 2012 Mallon, 1992 Whitbeck et al., 2004). Out of the 1.6 million homeless people in the United States, forty percent of them identify as part of the LGBT community. [61] In a survey of street outreach programs 7% of the youth were transgender (Whitbeck, Lazoritz, Crawford, & Hautala, 2014). Many of the transgender youth that are placed in homeless shelters do not get the type of help they need and often experience discrimination and systemic barriers that include sex-segregated programs in institutional practices that refuse to understand their gender. Many transgender youths have problems acquiring shelters because of certain policies like binary gender rules, dress codes, and room assignments (Thaler et al., 2009). Problems with classification happen when the procedures or policies of a shelter require the youth to be segregated based on their assigned sex rather than what they classify themselves as. As a result, many of the LGBT youth end up on the street instead of shelters which are meant to protect them. [62]


Contents

Arts Edit

Gustave Flaubert once declared that he would "die of suppressed rage at the folly of [his] fellow men." [1] Misanthropy has also been ascribed to a number of writers of satire, such as William S. Gilbert ("I hate my fellow-man") and William Shakespeare (Timon of Athens). Jonathan Swift is widely believed to have been misanthropic (see A Tale of a Tub and, most especially, Book IV of Gulliver's Travels). Poet Philip Larkin has been described as a misanthrope. [2]

Molière's play The Misanthrope is one of the more famous French plays on this topic. Less famous, but more contemporary is the 1971 play by Françoise Dorin, Un sale égoïste (A Filthy Egoist) which takes the point of view of the misanthrope and entices the viewer to understand his motives.

Philosophy Edit

The pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus was by various accounts a misanthrope and a loner who had little patience for human society. [3] [4] In a fragment, the philosopher complained that "people [were] forever without understanding" of what was, in his view, the nature of reality.

In Western philosophy, misanthropy has been connected to isolation from human society. In Plato's Phaedo, Socrates describes a misanthrope in relation to his fellow man: "Misanthropy develops when without art one puts complete trust in somebody thinking the man absolutely true and sound and reliable and then a little later discovers him to be bad and unreliable . and when it happens to someone often . he ends up . hating everyone." [5] Misanthropy, then, is presented as a potential result of thwarted expectations or even excessively naïve optimism, since Plato argues that "art" would have allowed the potential misanthrope to recognize that the majority of men are to be found in between good and evil. [6] Aristotle follows a more ontological route: the misanthrope, as an essentially solitary man, is not a man at all: he must be a beast or a god, a view reflected in the Renaissance view of misanthropy as a "beast-like state". [7]

There is a difference between philosophical pessimism and misanthropy. Immanuel Kant said that "Of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing can ever be made", and yet this was not an expression of the uselessness of mankind itself. Kant further stated that hatred of mankind can take two distinctive forms: aversion from men (anthropophobia) and enmity towards them. [8] The condition can arise partly from dislike and partly from ill-will. [8]

Martin Heidegger has also been said [9] to show misanthropy in his concern of the "they"—the tendency of people to conform to one view, which no one has really thought through, but is just followed because, "they say so". This might be thought of as more a criticism of conformity than of people in general. Unlike Schopenhauer, Heidegger was opposed to any systematic ethics however, in some of his later thought, he does see the possibility of harmony between people, as part of the four-fold, mortals, gods, earth, and sky.

In the Judeo-Islamic philosophies (800–1400), the Jewish philosopher, Saadia Gaon, uses the Platonic idea that the self-isolated man is dehumanized by friendlessness to argue against the misanthropy of anchorite asceticism and reclusiveness. [10]


Misanthropy: When You Just Don’t Like Other People

“I hate mankind,” said Dr Johnson, “for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.” Whether or not Johnson was being serious, such dislike is certainly common. It is also a view that tends to be mocked and ridiculed. Misanthropic characters in film or literature, for example, are often comic (even Shakespeare depicts the “melancholy” Jaques in As You Like It as absurd), and misanthropic friends will be given affectionate names like “the grouch” or “the grump.” But misanthropy can also be a symptom of depression, and may even presage an imminent psychological breakdown.